Codedtee test

Hi guys, failed to mention the transition from marlynejr.wordpress.com to this page. Lost my password and could not retrieve, long story.
So welcome to the new site (don't worry, I have tattooed the password of this site on my left thigh).

So I'm going to rant about my frustration on house hunting in this city of Lagos.
I have been house hunting for...don't know how long sef, but when I took it seriously, I went to look for an agent, (I been think say na beans) then I was asked to pay pre-inspection fee of 2k, ehn, no ish...paid and filled the form.(I stated clearly what it was I wanted, but failed to categorically state what areas) so trust lagos agents to waste your time, as long as they are getting recharge card money and your paying their transport fee.
The first place I was taken to was OGBA, the farther we kept going, the more scared I became, at some point I thought I was at OWO(Ibadan). *wipes sweat and red eyes*
The house itself was a newly renovated building with a large sitting room that got me thinking the landlord wanted it to be used as the bedroom, the bedroom was so tiny, one mattress, and ild be standing on the mattress to see the mirror. The doors were all clapping themselves, kitchen, toilet,room door, just swinging carelessly and if one wasn't careful, you would be high-fived every time you went past anyone.
The environment, oh boy, there were two schools, on the right side of the house and directly opposite the house, to top it all, was a church yards away from the main gate. *evils*
I literally went up in tears as I mailed Nkem, he went all sorry on me, and said, 'omit this from the blog oh'.lol, had to share.

By the time I got home, I was beat. And that was how the search ended... For a few weeks though.
One night, my girlfriend came from Abuja and we decided to start the house hunt...again!
So as unusual as it is we were up and out before 7:30am, started walking the streets of ikeja G.R.A as if there was something we really expected to get. I used my *blesses the Almighty* fluency in hausa to speak with gate men who seemed amazed that we were looking for houses without any specific place in mind or without an agent, and some were so happy to see their sister and started trying to famz,ANYWAY,*rolls eyes* in the end, we walked G.R.A in circles till about 11:00am and gave up.
Smart girlfriend went up on OLX and saw a placement there, called the agent and jumped on the estate shuttle to the agent's office.
Do I have to tell the story of how I had to pay another pre-inspection fee and filled form and explained that I do not work and I'm Igbo even though I look and speak hausa and I'm a christian, and I'm not single?
These landlords are so sexist and tribalistic and even more. Well, after stories of how landlords do not want single ladies in their houses and blah, we got to going to check some places.
First, we went to a hut at Anifowose with a different agent, yes, you read right, a HUT. Though the agent called it a storey building*tilts nose* we climbed the very unsafe stairs and got in, Jesu, we were covering our nose half the time, yeye man, turned and asked if the place was smelling, 'no sir, d scent is so intoxicating, we would gladly throw our perfumes away and come bask in this*rolls eyes*.
Swear down, I do not know what cardboard paper was used as a division to create a room abi its sitting room sef? :(
The agent guy even had the effrontery to ask if we were looking for the house for our elder sister (the way we were dressed ehn, we really did look like ss1 students) we could not even laugh about this till days later.

We got back to the agent's office and made it clear to him that we didn't want to live in a village, shebi, I no get village ni? My mama and papa are from two different states with villages. *insert very angry, smoke puffing out face here* he got another agent to take us to some place after computer village, can't recall the name, but we decided to fill our stomachs as we hadn't had any food all day and stopped by the roadside with NO shame to eat white rice and pepper soup, filled with kayan ciki (goat intestines) *dancing*stay tuned, for the next post, would yarn about my excessive, and amazing new found love for amala spots (Nkem cannot even understand why,when and how)...lol and other spots.
Next we were taken to Agege, I'm not even giving details of this, after the agent was praising the place, saying how close it was to pecinema *covers face*
We got home at about 7:00pm, settled in for some mortuary standard snapp and showered thoroughly and slept for two straight days only waking up to eat, respond to mails or whatever social media and doze off. Did I add that these agents are out to kill? They ask you what your budget is and start to show you places, little do you know that there is something called 'the full package' which is 10% agreement fee and 10% agency fee, not to mention caution fee. Most times you pay for two years, and end up paying more agreement/agency fee than the actual rent. Imagine a self contained apartment for 150k and full package is 450k *by this time, I had my trainers on and was ready to kokotrek back to abuja, at least you know your paying so much and getting its worth* It took Nkem's words of wisdom from page 1-78 to calm me and bring my head back to Lagos.
FINALLY, I got this place at Ikeja, and its waaaaaaaaay*help me add another A and more As* better than any house I have been shown since I started my hunt. Nkem reminds me that a home is not a house, its where your family is, and we are working so hard to make this house our home.
Let me go hunt food from one of these roadside food sellers before I faint... #TeamFoodie #TeamFatFam ;)
Any experience of your own?

You do not pay for the house itself, but for its environment and security...
Said an agent.
...XoXo...

Marlyne